Anyone in college, anyone who has ever been to college, anyone who gives a crap, or anyone who does not live under a rock in the hollow depths of the earth knows college has it’s ups and downs. Many would say it’s like a roller coaster, minus the fun picture at the end to laugh at your own misfortunes. In real life, it’s just misfortunes. Between the work load, living on a Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner kind of budget, the tight living quarters, the college experience is much like looking both ways before you cross the road only to fall into the gaping man hole in front of you. And then proceed to get hit by a bus of course. So, as a college student with a  less than perfect freshman experience, take these 8 tips from me. So if you follow my advice, we may just make it out alive together (Probably not, but lets pretend for the kids).

1. When it comes to the dining hall, stick to the basics. Yes it can sometimes pleasantly surprise you—thank you Taco Tuesday— but, when the chicken decides to be that lovely shade of purplish gray every other night, you’ll be thankful for cereal. Sodexo tends to be like a fire alarm going off and assuming it’s just a drill. Everything is probably going to be fine, but if it’s not, one wrong move (or courageous bite of fish nuggets) could make you explode, spontaneously combust, and or die a fiery miserable death. In no particular order. 

   

2. Always shower with flip flops. If avoiding the clumps of hair, drain gnats and mildew isn’t enough to convince you, take a look into my dorm’s showers. Trench foot will most likely look like a picnic.
3. Always carry a room key. It doesn’t matter if you know your roommates schedule like the back of your hand, take one risk, and you could be taking an 8am final in nothing but a towel and a shower cap. Granted, I’ve seen much less appropriate 8am attire (thanks for the entertainment, Walk of Shame), but you get the point.
4. Keep in touch with the people who matter. Don’t worry about losing friendships with people back home. The people who are meant to be in your life, will be there no matter the distance. You have enough on your plate in college, so go find out who your real friends, and most likely your bridesmaids, are. Don’t sweat the petty stuff, and I guess don’t pet the sweaty stuff either. It’s simply unsanitary.
5. Go to the gym. Not only will you combat your worst enemy, the Freshman 15 (yes, it WILL happen to you. Apparently, Sodexo can master every form of dessert but they can’t master lettuce), but it’s a great way to relieve everyday stress and anxiety, and look good in those crop tops your mom would be so disapproving of. But no matter what the Freshman 15 says, always remember, fries before guys.
6. Take advantage of warm weather. Okay, this is mainly for Northeastern kids. When your school has heated sidewalks like mine, you know things are getting real. So whenever the weather unexpectedly reaches above fifty, take a walk around. We often forget just how amazing our very own campuses are in the sad, cold months where you don’t need a refrigerator to keep the beer—I mean the apple juice—cold. So as I was saying, learn to appreciate nice weather and the place you go to school. On the first day of spring, head outside and throw a party…I mean not that kind of party. One with lot’s of flashcards, educational board games, knitting, and other activities us college kids enjoy. You know, the cool kind of parties. Hope you’re enjoying my blog, Mom and Dad 🙂
7. Get a fish. It’s always nice to have a dorm pet.
8. Have fun with the smelly water, cleaning the grimy, brown and green caked tank, cursing the fish that just won’t die, and the person who told you to get one. You don’t need people like that in your life.

Anyone in college knows that it can be the best/most excruciating time of your life. So, hopefully you enjoyed my mini survival guide, because it truly is a jungle out there (seriously, I’ve never seen so many aggressive geese or squirrels). And if you’re not or never were in college, hopefully you still give a crap. 

PS. I forgot a ninth tip. You should probably study. Studying is probably a good idea. Once again, hi Mom and Dad 🙂