Kim Kardashian held a gunpoint, deadly clowns roaming free, and the fate of the United States in the hands of Donald or Hillary. I’m sorry, but is this the state of the country or a special on the E! Network? In sad truth, America could truly pass for a reality show at the moment. Either way, I’ll be waiting for Giuliana Rancic to tell me what happens next. 

Now, we all know I’m about as political as a baby’s left toe, but when watching the presidential debate last Monday, I found myself laughing out loud multiple times. As soon as I realized that I was laughing at the future of the country, and possibly the future of my kids, the laughter quickly turned to tears. 

But seriously, I don’t think a year ago people would be patiently waiting at the edge of their seats for Barack Obama to announce his third term, or for Ellen Degeneres to emerge in the sky telling us not to worry, this whole thing is a joke and she is going to be president! I mean, I would have thought Trump would have toned down his nonsense at this point, but instead I’m being tempted by the fate of moving to—forget Canada—his beloved “Ghinaaaaaa”. And after all the criticism Obama has received, I don’t think anyone is enjoying watch America fall to crap more than Barry O himself. In fact, he’s probably sitting on the couch in his PJs with some Skinny Cow laughing and shouting “I told you so”.

Kim Kardashian held at gun point, deadly killer clowns on the loose predicting for a very confusing halloween, and the 2016 debate. Is this America’s week in a nut shell or an episode of here comes Honey Boo Boo? Still waiting for you, Ellen.

So, I’m keeping it short and sweet this week, but if you give a crap about America, let’s all rally together and agree Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s kids should be president, because let’s be honest, those two can’t screw anything up if they tried.